As you embark on your journey through pregnancy you soon discover the truth, that its not actually as glamorous and as straight forward as people would have you believe, especially when it comes to what’s depicted on TV and in the Movies. So let me tell you a few things that I have learnt about pregnancy that you won’t see on TV or in the films and if you’re reading this and you’re a Mum already or pregnant yourself I am sure you will be able to relate to some if not all of these at some point during your pregnancy…
Morning sickness - Why the hell they call it morning sickness is beyond me, It should be called throwing up 24hrs a day sickness, that no matter what time of day it is or where you are morning sickness can strike at anytime and there is no stopping it.
Pregnancy Glow - Everyone raves on about this thing called a pregnancy glow, apparently you’re suppose to look radiant and our skin glow and your hair look healthy and shiny.. Well If anyone ever finds this can they let me know where it is as I’m certainly not glowing. My skin is horrendous, I’ve developed dry skin, acne, thread veins my hair has developed split ends upon split ends. Its not a good look to be rocking.
Peeing - There will come a point in your pregnancy where you constantly feel like you need to pee every five minutes, at times it will feel like your bladder is about to explode from being so full yet when you actually go to relieve yourself you question whether it was actually worth it. There will also come the time when you REALLY do need to pee and you can place your bets there is no toilet near-by anywhere. I now plan my trips out with the knowledge of where each toilet is just in case.
Eating for Two - You may think that indulging and using the words “ I’m eating for two” ok when pigging out and eating that second or third slice of chocolate cake but unfortunately the fact is its only going to make you get fat, and not fat as in the sense of your blossoming baby bump that you are developing.
Cravings and Food Aversions - During pregnancy it is possible that your most loved. favorite food of all time that you usually cannot live without will actually have you gagging and running to the toilet to be sick, during this pregnancy mine has been chocolate.The thing is i’m usually a total chocoholic so its been very alien to me. You may also find that foods you would never usually touch become very appealing. . As for cravings, don’t be surprised if you start craving certain foods and drinks and find yourself constantly wanting them, so far this pregnancy mine have been Cherry Pepsi Max and KFC fillet tower burgers which on several occasions poor Mark has driven to the nearest drive thru to get me one. Also be prepared that if your nearest supermarket is out of stock of any of your craving items that a feeling of pure infuriation and rage could possibly come across you as you make it your mission to find what your body is craving. On several occasions Mark has been sent on a mission to find cherry Pepsi max now, so much so we now have a stockpile of it in the cupboard and at my Mums.
Sleep - Whats that? I’ve forgotten what sleep is, its been months since I can remember having a good nights sleep and managed to sleep an entire night without needing to get up to pee over and over or throw up. You will also learn later during pregnancy that no matter how big your bed is it will never be big enough whilst you’re still pregnant. Whether your bed is a double, king or queen, finding a comfortable position becomes mission impossible as you try to stretch out you start taking up most of the room leaving your significant other with even less room.. then suddenly in a mission to get comfortable your bed starts being overtaken by pillows ( I have 8 plus a body pillow at the moment, Mark calls it my nest). By this stage your significant other will resign himself to either sleeping on the sofa or in the spare room so they 1. can actually get some sleep and 2. have room to sleep without the fear of being pushed out of bed during the middle of the night.
Baby Brain - This in fact very real and not made up. So far this pregnancy I’ve repeatedly plugged electrical devices into the sockets to not turn them on at the wall. I’ve turned the house upside down to find my phone because it was on silent only for Mark to find it in the fridge. I’ve left the house keys in the door outside, the car window open in a car park and gone off shopping, I’ve stuck a dirty plate in the washing machine, locked the house keys inside the house, I’ve poured salt onto cereal, turned up to hospital appointments a week early as well as many other stupid things over the past 33 weeks.
Cankles - Up until this pregnancy I always thought this was a made up word but the fact is cankles are very real, 33 weeks and I no longer have ankles between my legs and feet, they just seem to go all the way down now.
Dont Touch the Bump! - Unfortunately when it comes to pregnancy as soon as you announce your joyous news anyone and everyone seem to think its an open invitation to touch your bump, even total strangers. I hate this and after many comments falling on deaf ears I now respond by asking whether it would be acceptable for me to shove my hand on their breasts or crotch without asking…they soon remove their hand. My Bump is my bump and only Mark, myself and the boys are allowed to touch it.
Accidents Happen - Be prepared that sneezing, coughing and laughing will all bring the added risk of peeing yourself slightly. Panty liners come in handy here, oh and a spare pair of knickers in your handbag just in case
Indigestion, Acid reflux, Heartburn - .. whatever they want to call it will make you feel like you have swallowed battery acid and the chances are it will make you sick at some point during your pregnancy. As a direct result of this I have bottles of gaviscon located in various places.. One upstairs on the bedside table, one downstairs in the kitchen, one in the passenger door of the car, one in Ethans bag and one in my handbag as when it strikes you will learn you need to act fast.
SPD - If you are unfortunate enough to develop this you really have my sympathy, its painful and as the pregnancy progresses it will only get worse. Simple everyday tasks you take for granted such as walking up stairs, getting in and out of a chair or car, putting trousers, knickers or socks on, pushing and carrying things and even walking all cause immense pain and the fact is there is a complete lack of knowledge from medical professionals when it comes to SPD. Some will tell you to just grin and bare it, others may refer you to a physio who has the longest waiting list and the chances are you will of had your baby before you are actually seen.. and even if they manage to squeeze you in the fact is they can’t really do much to help…They may give you a few exercises which in my case were impossible to do and caused more pain, they may give you a support belt, being plus size I was too fat for one of those and worse case they will probably give you some crutches to help with mobilising. The truth is you literally have to just get on with it until baby makes their big debut into the world and it disappears which can be instantly or could be several months,
Those first kicks - Throughout the early stages of pregnancy you will be eagerly awaiting those very first kicks, being able to feel your little one inside move about is amazing but believe me as those kicks get stronger the more uncomfortable and painful they can become, especially when your little one has a foot lodged up under your ribs and you’re struggling to catch your breath or there becomes less room but lil one still wants to attempt gymnastics inside your tummy.
Sex - Whats that. oh yes thats the thing that got me into this situation in the first place. Now don’t be surprised if you lose your sex drive completely and sleep becomes more appealing.. Your significant other will have to deal with it, what does he have to complain about anyway, you’re the one growing and carrying his child and I highly doubt unless he has a death wish he will argue otherwise.. But if you are lucky enough to still have a sex drive, if you can find a comfy position, not need to pee mid way through, not get freaked out by a little person moving around inside you and you have the energy then go for it lol